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Here is what Emily Post says about attire for black tie formal wear: Women Formal (floor length) evening gown Dressy cocktail dress Your dressiest little black dress Men Black tuxedo jacket and matching trousers Formal (piqu or pleated front) white shirt Shirt studs and cuff links Black bow tie (silk, satin, or twill) Black cummerbund to match tie, or a vest Dressy braces to ensure a good fit (optional) No gloves Black patent shoes and black dress socks In summer, in the tropics, or on a cruise: White dinner jacket, black tuxedo trousers plus other black tie wardrobe You can find their full guide to attire, from Casual to White Tie, on their website

Unless the couple specifies a color palette, there are no limitations to what guests can wear

I was young and silly enough to think that everyone ate like my family did